Who should be invited to a wedding?

Start by writing two lists. One is your must-have people, such as parents, siblings and closest friends. The other is everyone else you would like to know. Then compare both lists with the number of guests your venue and budget allow.

It is normal to feel torn between family wishes and your own circle. Agree your rules together before anyone else asks. Common approaches are to invite all colleagues, only close friends from each side, or to keep the day small. Whatever you choose, apply it fairly to both families so no one feels picked over.

Be kind when you have to say no. A gentle, honest reply works better than silence. You might say that you are keeping the day intimate and would love to meet them another time. Some couples host a separate celebration later for wider friends and colleagues.

Remember that your wedding is your day. There is no rule that says you must invite everyone who invites you to theirs. Choose the guests who share your life now.