How to Make a Wedding Guest List from Scratch

Begin by sitting down with your partner and writing down everyone you can think of who you'd love to share the day with. Don't worry about numbers yet. Include family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and anyone else who matters to you. This is your 'dream list'.

Next, split the list into two groups: day guests and evening guests. Day guests attend the ceremony and wedding breakfast, while evening guests join after the meal for the party. A common approach is to invite day guests first, then add evening guests from your wider circle. Remember, you can invite different groups for different parts of the day.

Rank every name on your dream list into priority tiers. Tier one is immediate family and very close friends. Tier two is extended family and good friends. Tier three is colleagues, distant relatives, and acquaintances. This ranking helps you make cuts later without panic.

Be fair to both sides of the family. If one of you has a huge family and the other doesn't, that's fine, but aim for balance where you can. Talk openly about who you each feel strongly about. If a parent is contributing financially, they may expect a say, but the final decision is yours as a couple.

Include the wedding party in your guest list. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and any other attendants are always day guests. They are part of the ceremony and the meal, so count them from the start.

A spreadsheet is the simplest way to keep track. Create columns for name, address, email, phone, category (day or evening), priority tier, plus one, dietary requirements, invitation sent, RSVP received, and any notes. Update it as you go.

You can use a ready-made template or build your own. The key is to keep it consistent. Use one row per guest, not per couple, unless you prefer to track households. If you invite a couple, decide whether they get a plus one or if you're inviting both by name.

Keep a separate tab for 'maybe' guests. These are people you'd love to invite if budget or space allows. Once you have final numbers, you can move them up if you have room. A spreadsheet also makes it easy to sort by priority or category when you need to make cuts.

Cutting the list is never easy, but you can do it kindly. Start by applying clear rules. For example, you might decide to invite only immediate family and close friends as day guests, and everyone else as evening guests. Or you might set a rule that colleagues are only invited if you socialise outside work.

Use your priority tiers. If you have to cut, drop tier three first. Be consistent. If you invite one cousin, invite all cousins. If you can't, explain privately to those you've had to leave out. A short, honest conversation is better than silence.

When you need to reduce numbers, consider these options:

• Move tier three guests to the evening list.
• Limit plus ones to married, engaged, or long-term partners.
• Skip children if you're having an adults-only day, and say so clearly on the invitation.
• Ask parents to help with their side of the list, but make the final call together.

Remember, most people understand that weddings have limits. A polite, personal note or conversation goes a long way. Avoid posting your guest list online or discussing cuts in group chats.

Evening guests usually arrive after the meal, often around 7 or 8 pm, in time for the first dance and the party. On your invitation, clearly state the time they should arrive. For example, 'Join us from 7.30 pm for dancing and dessert'.

Send separate invitations to evening guests, or include an evening invitation card with your main invites. Make it clear that the ceremony and meal are for day guests only. You can word it simply: 'We would love you to join us for our evening reception from 7.30 pm'.

Evening guests typically don't expect a full meal, but you should provide some food, like a buffet or canapés, and drinks. Let them know what to expect so they can plan. Also, decide whether evening guests are included in your final numbers for the venue, as some venues charge per head for evening catering.

It's normal for not everyone you invite to attend. Some will decline due to travel, cost, or other commitments. As a rough guide, you might expect around 8 or 9 out of 10 day guests to attend, and a similar proportion of evening guests, but this varies. Don't rely on exact numbers; plan for a few no-shows.

Your venue capacity and budget will set your maximum. Once you have your final list, you can send save-the-dates and then invitations. Track RSVPs carefully and chase up anyone who hasn't replied by the deadline. This helps you give accurate numbers to your caterer and venue.

If you're worried about numbers, invite a few extra evening guests to fill the dance floor. It's often easier to add evening guests than day guests, as they don't require a meal seat. Just remember to count them in your venue's evening capacity.

When you invite a guest, you don't have to ask for a gift. Many couples set up a gift list or ask for contributions to a honeymoon fund, but it's never expected. If you do have a gift list, include it on your wedding website or with the invitation, but keep it optional. Guests will give what they feel is right.

For plus ones, be clear on your invitations. Address the invitation to the named guest only, or to 'and guest' if you're offering a plus one. A good rule is to offer a plus one to anyone in a long-term relationship, married, or engaged. For single guests, you can decide based on your budget and space.

If you're using a spreadsheet, mark plus ones clearly so you don't double-count. Also, remember to include children if you're inviting families. If you're having an adults-only wedding, say so politely on the invitation, for example, 'We love your little ones, but this is an adults-only occasion'.