How do you decide who to invite to your wedding?

Sit down with your partner and write three lists. The first is your non-negotiables, the people who must be there. The second is your extended circle, friends and family you would love to have. The third is a wish list of anyone you would like if space and money allow.

Next, apply your shared rules. Decide together about children, partners of partners, work colleagues and family friends. Be honest about how often you see each person and whether they know most of the other guests. A wedding works best when people can talk to one another.

Then bring in the practical limits. Your venue will tell you how many seats and tables you can fit, and your budget will show how many meals and drinks you can afford. Cut from the wish list first, then the extended circle, and keep the non-negotiables safe.

Remember that your wedding is about you as a couple. It is okay to keep the day small and intimate, and it is okay to have a big celebration. Choose the list that feels right for your life now.