How do you respond to a wedding invitation RSVP?

Short answer

Respond exactly as the invitation asks, by card, email or website. Fill in every field, write clearly, and include the names of everyone attending. Send it before the deadline, and if you cannot attend, say so plainly and kindly.

Start by reading the invitation carefully. The couple will tell you how they want your reply, and they may give a date. Honour that date. If the card asks for names, write them as they appear on the invitation, so the couple can match replies to guests. If there is a line for "number attending", write the total number, not just a tick.

If you are replying by card, use a pen that will not smudge, and write neatly. If you are replying online, follow the prompts and double check before you submit. If the invitation includes a menu choice, select one option per guest. If you have a dietary need, write it in the space provided or add a short note. Do not assume the couple will remember a verbal message.

If you cannot attend, mark the "decline" box or choose that option online. You do not need to give a reason. A short note of congratulations is always welcome. If you are replying for a family, make sure you include every person who is invited, and only those people. Never add children or partners who are not listed. If you are unsure, ask the couple directly before you reply.