What are some tips for planning a wedding guest list?

Sit down together and write every name you can think of, including distant cousins and work friends. Do not judge the list yet. Once both of you agree on the full wish list, look at your venue capacity and your budget per head. Cut from the bottom of each section rather than picking favourites, so no one feels singled out.

Set a clear priority order before you start cutting. Family members you see often come before distant relatives. Close friends come before acquaintances. If one side of the family is much larger, agree on a ratio early to avoid arguments.

• Ask parents and partners-in-law for their own wish lists and compare them openly.
• Decide on children, plus-ones and ex-partners as a couple before telling anyone.
• Keep a small reserve of names in case someone cancels.

Be kind when you tell people they are not invited. A brief, honest message works better than silence. Remember that a smaller day often feels more relaxed for everyone.