What is etiquette for a wedding gift?

Short answer

Wedding gift etiquette is to give a gift if you attend the wedding, and to send it before the wedding or within a few months after. You should choose something from the couple's list, or give cash or a personal gift. Always include a card.

The main rule is that a gift is a gesture of goodwill, not a payment for your meal. You should give a gift if you attend, but the amount is entirely up to you and your budget. There is no fixed rule about how much to spend, so give what feels comfortable.

Send your gift before the wedding if possible, so the couple can enjoy it without carrying things home. If you bring it to the wedding, hand it to a designated person, not the couple, so they do not have to manage it during the day. Always include a card with your name, so the couple can thank you properly.

If you are in the bridal party, you are not expected to give a separate gift, because you have already spent money on outfits and events. If you are a close family member, you might give a more generous gift, but again, it is your choice. The couple should send thank-you notes within three months, and you should not chase them if they are slow.