Who recites vows first, bride or groom?

In many civil ceremonies at a register office or approved venue, the officiant will ask one person to speak first and then the other. Often the groom goes first, but this is a custom rather than a requirement. Humanist or religious celebrants may follow their own traditions, and some couples now exchange vows at the same time.

If you have a preference, tell your officiant early so they can plan the order. You can also ask to write the same vows and read them together. This can feel more equal and can save time if you are worried about holding your place in the script.

Whatever order you choose, make sure both of you have a copy of your vows. If you are reading from memory and one of you forgets a line, a card will help. Your witnesses and guests will follow whatever the officiant directs, so trust their lead on the day.

If your ceremony has a specific religious order, your place of worship will tell you how it works.