How do you write joint wedding vows together?

Joint vows are a lovely way to show you are entering marriage as a team. Start by setting aside an hour with no distractions. Each of you writes down five or six promises you would like to make, without discussing them first. Then read your lists to each other. You will probably find you have written similar things, which is a good sign. Talk about any promises that feel too big or too vague, and rephrase them until they feel right. For example, instead of "I promise to always be happy," try "I promise to choose joy even on hard days." Once you have agreed on the promises, write them out as one shared statement, using "we" rather than "I". For example, "We promise to be patient with each other, to laugh often, and to build a home where both of us feel safe." Keep the whole vow to around 60 to 100 words. Read it aloud together a few times so you can find a natural rhythm. If you are marrying in a religious building, check with your officiant whether joint vows are allowed and whether any wording is required. For civil ceremonies, the registrar will need to approve your words.