How to write wedding vows step by step?

Begin by finding out what is allowed. In a civil ceremony in England or Wales, vows cannot include religious content, so check your draft with the registrar. In a Church of England or Church in Wales wedding, you normally say traditional vows, and some couples add personal words alongside them. Ask your officiant what is possible before you write anything.

Then decide on the shape. Many couples keep the legal wording and add a personal promise or two. Others write the whole thing. Aim for a minute or two each when spoken, which is shorter than it looks on paper.

A simple way to draft:

• Write down three things you love about your partner.
• Turn each one into a promise you can keep.
• Add one promise about the hard days, not just the happy ones.
• Read it aloud and cut anything that sounds like a card.

Swap drafts with your partner only if you both want to. Some couples prefer the surprise. Agree the final wording with your officiant, print a copy in a readable size, and decide who holds it.