Who says vows first, husband or wife?

In England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, the law does not specify which partner speaks first during vows. The order is a matter of personal choice, tradition or the preference of your officiant. Some couples follow the old custom of the husband first, but many now swap, alternate or write their own vows and take turns. If you are having a religious ceremony, your place of worship may have its own usual order, so it is worth asking them directly. For a civil ceremony, your registrar can advise on what works well and will help you feel at ease. The key is to talk it through together before the day. You might decide that the person who is more nervous goes first to get it over with, or that the person who is better at speaking leads. You can also practise together so the moment feels natural. Whatever you choose, your guests will simply be watching two people make a promise, and the order will not matter to them. If you are unsure, check with your registrar or officiant, as rules can vary by venue or faith. The most important thing is that you both feel happy and supported.