How do you handle a plus-one who cancels at the last minute?

Short answer

You handle it by treating the seat as gone and not trying to fill it. Do not invite someone new without asking your partner first.

When a plus-one cancels at the last minute, the honest and calm approach is to accept that the seat is no longer available. It is tempting to offer it to someone else, but that can cause awkwardness and hurt feelings. Do not invite a friend, colleague or family member into their place without talking to your partner first. Both of you should agree on any change, because the guest list is a shared decision.

If you have a seating plan already in place, adjust it quietly. Move the cancelled seat to a different table if that helps the flow, or leave the place setting out if you prefer. Most venues and caterers will simply note that fewer people are attending. There is no need to announce the change to other guests.

If you are worried about the cost of food or drinks, remember that many venues do not charge for last-minute no-shows. If they do, you can ask about their policy. Do not chase the guest who cancelled for money unless that was agreed beforehand. Keep the tone kind. A last-minute cancellation happens for all kinds of reasons, and you do not need to make it a problem.