How do you handle a plus-one who is a person who is a friend of the couple, not the guest?

A plus-one is usually a courtesy for a guest's partner or spouse. When the extra person is actually a friend of the couple, the etiquette shifts a little. The friend is not attached to a named guest, so they do not have the same automatic claim to an invitation. Treat them like any other guest you are inviting on your own merits.

If you want them there, invite them by name on the envelope. Do not write 'and guest' or 'plus-one' for them, because that implies they are bringing someone else and muddies your headcount. Be clear in your own mind that this is an invitation for them alone, unless you intend to invite their partner too.

You do not owe any guest a plus-one. It is perfectly fine to say no if your venue, budget or venue capacity cannot stretch. If you do invite them, seat them with people who know them or mix them into a table where others will be friendly.

• Name them clearly on the invitation.
• Count them in your final numbers.
• Seat them thoughtfully.
• Decline politely if you cannot accommodate them.