How long before the wedding should you write your vows?

Writing vows is not something to leave to the week before. You want time to reflect on what you truly want to say, and to edit without pressure. Two to three months is a good window. It also gives you time to check any requirements with your registrar or officiant.

Start by jotting down ideas, even just a few words or memories. Let them sit for a few days. Then come back and shape them into sentences. You might write a full draft a month before, then revise it a week later.

If you are writing vows together, you do not have to share them with each other. Many couples keep them secret until the ceremony. But you can agree on a rough length, so neither of you feels the other has said too much or too little.

If you are having a religious ceremony, check with your place of worship early, because some traditions have set vows and may not allow personal additions. If you are in England or Wales and adding a civil ceremony, the registrar will tell you what is required, so you can plan your personal words around that.

Leave a final version about two weeks before the wedding. Practise reading it aloud a few times. That way, on the day, it feels familiar and calm.