What is proper etiquette for paying for a wedding?

Short answer

There is no fixed etiquette for who pays for a wedding in the UK today. Traditionally the bride's family paid, but now couples, both families, or a mix usually share costs. The key is open, early conversation about budgets and expectations.

The old rule that the bride's family pays for everything is long gone. Modern weddings in the UK are paid for in all sorts of ways. Some couples cover everything themselves. Some get contributions from both sets of parents. Some parents offer a set amount, and the couple tops it up. Some couples ask for help with specific items, like the bar or the flowers.

The most important thing is to talk about money early and honestly. If parents offer to pay, ask what they had in mind and whether they have any conditions. Some parents want a say in the guest list or the venue if they are contributing. That is fair, but you should agree on it before you book anything.

If you are a parent, offer what you can afford without overstretching. Do not feel you must match what the other family gives. If you are a couple, be clear about what you can manage yourselves and treat any help as a gift, not a loan. And if you are a guest, you are not expected to contribute to the wedding costs at all. Your presence is the gift. The only etiquette that really matters is kindness, clarity, and gratitude.