Wedding Guest Etiquette: The Complete UK Guide

RSVP as soon as you can, and always by the date on the invitation. The couple needs final numbers for the caterer, the venue and the seating plan. If you are unsure, reply by the date and let them know if you are waiting for childcare or work details.

Do not RSVP on a save the date. Save the dates are just a heads up, not an invitation. Wait for the formal invitation. If you receive a save the date but no invitation follows, it may mean you are not invited to the wedding itself, so do not assume.

If you cannot attend, reply promptly with a polite note. You do not need to explain why. If you have to change your RSVP after sending it, tell the couple as soon as possible. It is better to be honest than to be a no-show.

Bring a gift if you attend, but you do not have to spend a set amount. Choose something from the couple's gift list if they have one, or give cash or a voucher. If you give cash, put it in a card. There is no rule about covering your plate, so give what feels right for your budget and your relationship.

If you cannot attend, a card and a small gift are a kind gesture, but not required. You are not obliged to send a gift if you decline the invitation.

If you are a guest and you notice others have not brought gifts, do not comment. Gift giving is private. The couple will not expect everyone to give the same. If you are the couple, do not mention gifts in your thank-you speech; thank everyone for coming and for their kindness.

Many couples ask guests to put phones away for the ceremony. This is called an unplugged ceremony. It means no photos, no videos, no posting on social media until the couple says it is fine. The couple has hired a photographer, and they want guests to be present, not watching through a screen.

If the couple has an unplugged ceremony, respect it. Turn your phone to silent or off, and keep it in your pocket or bag. Do not take photos during the ceremony, even if you see others doing it. If you want to take photos at the reception, do so only when the couple has said it is allowed, and never block the photographer.

If you are the couple and want an unplugged ceremony, say so clearly on the order of service or on a sign at the entrance. A simple sign works: "We invite you to be fully present. Please switch off your phones for the ceremony." You can also ask your celebrant to make an announcement before the ceremony begins.

Follow the dress code on the invitation. If it says black tie, wear a tuxedo or an evening gown. If it says lounge suit, a suit and tie for men and a smart dress or jumpsuit for women are fine. If there is no dress code, ask the couple or a member of the wedding party. For a daytime wedding, smart casual is usually safe, but avoid white or cream, as that is reserved for the couple.

Consider the venue and the weather. A beach wedding or a barn wedding may have different needs. If you are unsure, it is better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed. Do not wear anything that might upstage the couple, and avoid very casual items like jeans or trainers unless the invitation says otherwise.

Only bring a plus-one if the invitation says so. The envelope will usually say "and guest" or name the person. If you are not given a plus-one, do not ask for one, as the couple has limited numbers. If you are in a long-term relationship and your partner was not named, you can politely ask, but accept the answer.

If children are invited, the invitation will say so. If not, do not bring them. If you need to bring a baby, ask the couple first. If they say no, arrange childcare. If you are a parent and your child is invited, keep an eye on them during the ceremony and reception, and do not let them run around during the speeches.

If the couple has arranged accommodation for guests, be a considerate house guest. Confirm your arrival time, and let them know if you need to leave early. Bring a small gift for the host, such as chocolates or a bottle of wine, if you are staying in someone's home. Keep your room tidy, and offer to help with breakfast or clearing up.

If you are staying in a hotel, book early, as rooms near the venue fill up fast. If you are staying with the couple or their family, be flexible and helpful. Do not expect the couple to entertain you; they have a lot to do. Offer to help with small tasks, but do not take over.

If you are asked to give a speech, keep it short, warm and personal. Do not tell embarrassing stories or make jokes that might upset anyone. If you are not asked to speak, do not grab the microphone. During the speeches, listen quietly and do not talk over the speakers. Raise your glass when the toast is proposed, and take a sip if you wish.

Be a good guest throughout the day. Arrive on time, join in with the dancing, and thank the couple before you leave. If you have dietary requirements, tell the couple well in advance. If you have to leave early, say goodbye to the couple quietly, and do not make a fuss. The most important thing is to be present and enjoy the celebration.