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Guide · Speeches and toasts

Best Man and Groom Speech Writing Tips

This guide offers practical, UK-focused advice for best men and grooms writing their speeches, covering structure, content, humour, length, and delivery etiquette. You'll learn how to craft a warm, memorable speech that honours the couple and keeps guests engaged.

By the UK Wedding Websites editorial team · Updated 2026-10-12 · How we write our guides

How to write a best man speech: structure and content

Start with a clear structure: a short opening, a middle with stories and compliments, and a closing toast. Aim for around five to seven minutes, which is long enough to feel substantial but short enough to keep everyone's attention. In the UK, guests expect a mix of warmth and wit, so balance humour with genuine feeling.

Open by introducing yourself and thanking the hosts, perhaps the parents or the couple themselves. Then share one or two short, kind anecdotes about the groom. Keep stories clean and avoid anything that might embarrass the groom or the couple. End by praising the couple together and raising a glass to their future.

A simple structure could be: thank the hosts, introduce yourself, tell a story about the groom, say something lovely about the couple, and finish with a toast. You do not need to cover every part of the groom's life. Choose moments that show his character and your friendship.

How to start a best man speech: opening lines that work

The first few seconds set the tone. Start with a confident, simple line such as "Good evening everyone, for those who don't know me, I'm [name], and I've had the pleasure of knowing [groom] for [number] years." This is clear, warm, and gives you a moment to settle.

A little self-deprecating humour can work well, for example, "I was asked to keep this short, so I've prepared a 20-minute speech." But avoid jokes that mock the groom or the couple in the opening. The goal is to make people smile, not cringe.

If you are nervous, practise your opening line until it feels natural. You can also memorise the first few sentences so you have a strong start even if your mind goes blank.

What makes a good best man speech: humour, heart, and length

A good best man speech is personal, positive, and well paced. Humour should come from real moments, not from put-downs. For example, you might mention a funny holiday mishap or a shared hobby, but always frame it affectionately. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand.

Heart matters more than polish. Speak about the groom's kindness, loyalty, or how he has grown since meeting their partner. The couple should feel celebrated, not teased. If you are unsure whether a joke is okay, leave it out.

Length is important. In the UK, five to seven minutes is the sweet spot. Any longer and you risk losing the room. Practise aloud and time yourself. Cut anything that does not serve the story or the toast.

Best man speech etiquette in the UK: what to do and avoid

In the UK, the best man usually speaks after the father of the bride or the couple's chosen host, and before the groom. The traditional order is: father of the bride, groom, then best man. But modern weddings vary, so check with the couple or the wedding planner. The key is to follow the agreed running order.

Do thank the couple, the hosts, and the guests. Do raise your glass at the end and invite everyone to join you. Do keep your speech sober enough to deliver clearly. Avoid reading from your phone, as it looks informal. Use cards or a small notebook if you need prompts.

Avoid mentioning ex-partners, past mistakes, or anything that could cause upset. Avoid drinking too much before you speak. And never go over your agreed time without checking with the couple first.

Groom speech writing tips: what to include and how to deliver

The groom's speech is a chance to thank the people who made the day possible and to speak directly to your partner. Start by thanking your guests for coming, then thank both sets of parents or the people who raised you and your partner. Acknowledge the best man and the bridal party for their support.

Then turn to your partner. Say something specific and sincere about why you love them and what this marriage means to you. You do not need to be poetic, just honest. A short, heartfelt paragraph is often more moving than a long list of compliments.

Practise your delivery. Speak slowly, make eye contact with your partner, and pause after important lines. If you are nervous, take a deep breath before you start. Keep a glass of water nearby. And remember, the guests are on your side.

Father of the bride speech: timing, jokes, and etiquette

The father of the bride speech traditionally comes first, before the groom and best man. It is usually a welcome to guests, a few words about the couple, and a toast to the newlyweds. In modern weddings, the role may be taken by a mother, a step-parent, or a close family member. The etiquette is to speak warmly and briefly, around five minutes.

Funny father of the bride jokes work best when they are gentle and personal. For example, a light remark about the groom's driving or the bride's childhood habits can raise a laugh. Avoid jokes that embarrass the couple or mock the marriage. The tone should be affectionate.

If you are using AI to help write the speech, treat it as a starting point. Add your own stories and voice. The best speeches sound like the person speaking, not like a template. Practise aloud and cut anything that does not feel like you.

Checklist

  • Agree the running order with the couple and the wedding planner.
  • Write your speech at least two weeks before the wedding.
  • Keep the speech between five and seven minutes.
  • Practise aloud and time yourself.
  • Memorise the opening lines.
  • Use cards or a notebook for prompts, not your phone.
  • Thank the hosts, the couple, and the guests.
  • Include one or two short, kind stories.
  • Avoid jokes that embarrass the couple or guests.
  • Raise your glass clearly at the end and invite everyone to toast.

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