Wedding Readings: How Many, Who Reads, and Best Choices

No, you do not need readings. They are optional and entirely your choice. Many couples include them to add meaning, involve loved ones, or give the ceremony a personal touch. If you prefer a short, simple ceremony, you can skip readings altogether.

If you are having a civil ceremony, the registrar will guide you on what is allowed. Civil ceremonies cannot include religious content such as hymns, prayers or religious readings. Poems, songs and non-religious readings are fine if the registrar agrees. For a religious ceremony, your officiant will advise on what is appropriate. Always check with your venue or officiant before you finalise your choices.

There is no fixed number. Most couples have one to three readings. A single reading can be very powerful. Three readings might suit a longer ceremony or if you want to include several people.

Think about the overall length of your ceremony. A reading usually takes two to three minutes. If you have a tight schedule, keep it to one or two. If you have plenty of time, three is fine. The key is to choose readings that mean something to you, not to fill time.

Readings usually happen after the welcome and before the vows, or sometimes between the vows and the exchange of rings. In a civil ceremony, the registrar will tell you the order. In a religious ceremony, the officiant will guide you.

A common structure is: welcome, readings, vows, ring exchange, pronouncement, and signing. You can also have a reading after the vows as a blessing or reflection. Talk to your officiant about what works best.

Anyone you choose can read. There are no legal restrictions. You might ask a close friend, a sibling, a parent, or a grandchild. Some couples ask a colleague or a mentor. The only practical consideration is whether the person is comfortable speaking in front of a group.

If you have several people you want to include, you could ask them to do a joint reading, each reading a stanza or a line. For a child, a short poem or a single quote can work well. Always ask the person in advance and give them a copy of the reading. On the day, have a backup copy with the officiant in case they forget theirs.

Some readings are popular because they are beautiful and work for many couples. Here are a few classic choices, but there are countless books and websites with ideas.

• "Union" by Robert Fulghum: a short and wise piece about the difference between being in love and truly being together.
• "Sonnet 116" by William Shakespeare: a timeless poem about love that is constant and true.
• "I Carry Your Heart with Me" by E.E. Cummings: a modern poem that speaks of deep connection.
• "The Art of Marriage" by Wilferd Peterson: a practical and warm reflection on marriage.
• "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" by Louis de Bernières: a prose passage about love that is gentle and enduring.
• "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran: passages on marriage and love that are lyrical and wise.

You can also choose a song lyric, a passage from a favourite book, or a quote from a film. If you have a cultural or faith tradition, your officiant can suggest readings that fit your ceremony. For a civil ceremony, remember that readings must be non-religious.

Writing your own vows is a personal and memorable way to express your promises. Start by thinking about what you love about your partner and what you want to promise. Keep it simple and honest. Speak from the heart, not from a script you think you should follow.

A good structure is: an opening line about who they are to you, a few promises, and a closing line about your future together. For example, "I promise to laugh with you, to support you, and to always be your home." You can include specific details, like a shared hobby or a promise to always make tea. But avoid inside jokes that others won't understand.

If you are writing vows for a religious ceremony, check with your officiant. Some traditions have set vows that you must use. In a Catholic ceremony, for example, the vows are prescribed. In a civil ceremony, you can write your own, but the registrar must approve them and they must be non-religious. You can also mix: use traditional vows but add a personal line or two. Practice reading your vows aloud several times. Keep them short enough that you can say them without nerves.

Choose a reading that reflects your relationship and your values. Think about what you want your guests to feel. Do you want to laugh, cry, or feel warm? The reading should match the tone of your ceremony.

Consider the length. A long reading can feel heavy, especially if you have several. A short reading can be just as meaningful. Also think about the reader. If they are nervous, a shorter piece is easier. Ask them to practise once or twice so they feel confident.

If you are having a humanist ceremony, your celebrant can help you choose. In Scotland, humanist celebrants can conduct legal weddings, and they often have many reading suggestions. In England and Wales, humanist ceremonies are not legally binding on their own, so you will need a civil ceremony as well. Check GOV.UK for the current position.