How long is too long to not get engaged?

Short answer

There is no fixed time that makes waiting too long. If you have clearly agreed you want marriage, but years pass without a proposal or a plan, that is a sign to talk honestly about why.

The idea of a "too long" depends entirely on your situation. Some couples date for a decade before marrying, and that is fine if both partners are happy with the pace. The problem is not the number of years but the mismatch between what you want and what is happening. If you have told your partner you want to marry, and they keep saying "soon" without any concrete steps, that is not about time; it is about communication and commitment.

A healthy timeline includes a shared vision. You might agree to wait until you finish studies, buy a home, or feel financially stable. Those are legitimate reasons to delay. But if there is no agreed reason, and the subject keeps being avoided, it is time to sit down and ask direct questions. What are their fears? What would make them ready? Do they actually see marriage in their future?

If you are the one waiting, do not let years pass in silence. Set a personal boundary for yourself, not as an ultimatum, but as a way to protect your own hopes. You deserve a partner who is as excited about the future as you are. If they are not, it is better to know now than to wait longer.