How do you word an RSVP card for regrets only?

Short answer

For regrets only, ask guests to reply only if they cannot attend, so you hear from those who are unable to come and can adjust your plans accordingly.

A regrets-only card is useful when you expect most guests to attend, for example a small family wedding or a close-knit group. It means you only hear from people who cannot make it, which reduces the number of replies you have to chase. The wording should be clear so nobody thinks they must reply if they are coming.

You could write: "Please reply only if you are unable to attend." Or "Kindly let us know by [date] if you cannot join us." Add a line for the guest's name so you know who has declined. Some couples add a short note: "We hope to see you, but if you cannot make it, please let us know."

This approach works best when you are confident about your guest list and you have a good idea of who will come. It is not ideal for a large wedding where you need firm numbers early. If you use a regrets-only card, make sure your deadline is generous, because guests who are coming may not reply at all, and you need to know who is not coming before you finalise catering.

You can also use an online RSVP with a regrets-only option, which sends you a notification only when someone declines. That keeps your inbox tidy and your planning simple. Just remember to thank anyone who does reply, even if they are declining, because they have taken the time to tell you.