How to Announce Your Engagement: Family, Friends, and Social Media

Start with the people who matter most. Tell your parents, siblings, and very close friends in person or by phone before you post anything online. This gives them a moment to share your joy privately and avoids them finding out through a social media post.

If your families are separated by distance, a video call can work well. Try to tell both sides in the same time frame, but it is fine to tell one set of parents first if you need their support or advice. If you have children from previous relationships, tell them early and reassure them about what will change and what will stay the same.

Once your nearest and dearest know, you can share on social media. A simple photo of the ring, a picture of the two of you, or a photo of a card or sign can work well. Write a short caption such as "We're engaged!" or "She said yes" or "He said yes", or something personal to you.

Consider posting separately to different groups if you have a large family or varied friends. You might want to post a photo on your main feed and then send a more personal message to those you could not call. Be aware that some people may not see your post, so it is kind to tell anyone you genuinely want to know directly.

Some couples choose to announce their engagement in a local newspaper or a national paper. This can be a lovely way to make the news official, especially for older relatives who enjoy seeing such announcements. You can place a notice with the date of the engagement and your names, and sometimes the names of your parents.

Newspaper notices are optional and not required. If you do decide to place one, check the newspaper's website for how to submit it. You can also include a note about the wedding date if it is already set, but it is fine to keep it simple.

An engagement party is a chance to celebrate with friends and family before the wedding planning gets busy. There is no fixed rule for when to hold it, but many couples have it within a few months of the engagement. You can hold it before or after you have set a wedding date, but it is often easier to have it before you start making big wedding decisions.

The party can be hosted by your parents, a friend, or you can host it yourselves. It is perfectly acceptable to throw your own engagement party. If someone offers to host, you can accept gratefully, but you should be clear about the guest list and budget. A surprise party can be lovely, but it is risky because you may want to invite people who are not available on that date. A small surprise with your closest friends can work, but for a larger party, let people know in advance.

Engagement parties are not typically gift-giving occasions. Guests may bring a small gift or a card, but it is not expected. You do not need to set up a wedding gift list for an engagement party. If someone asks what you would like, you can say that their presence is enough, or suggest a contribution to your honeymoon fund if you have one.

There is no strict dress code for an engagement party. It depends on the venue and the time of day. A garden party might be smart casual, while an evening event might be more formal. You can suggest a dress code on the invitation, such as "garden party" or "smart casual". Wearing white is fine for guests unless the couple has asked for a specific theme. It is not a wedding, so white is not reserved for the couple.

Themes are optional. Some couples choose a theme that reflects their interests, such as a picnic, a barbecue, or a cocktail party. If you do have a theme, make it clear on the invitation so guests know what to expect. Games are not necessary, but simple icebreakers can help if guests do not know each other. You could have a quiz about the couple or a guest book with prompts.

Food is usually served, but it can be as simple as drinks and nibbles, or a full meal. A cake is not required, but some couples have a small cake to mark the occasion. The size of the party is up to you. It can be an intimate gathering of close family and friends, or a larger celebration. Consider your budget and the venue. There is no right or wrong size, only what feels comfortable for you.

Remember that an engagement is not a legal contract in the UK. You are free to announce it in any way you like. However, if you are planning a legal wedding, be aware of the notice requirements. In England and Wales, you must give notice at least 28 days before the ceremony. In Scotland, it is at least 29 days, and in Northern Ireland, 28 days. Check GOV.UK for the latest rules.

If you are having a religious ceremony, such as a Church of England wedding, you will need banns or a licence. If you are having a humanist ceremony, it is only legally binding in Scotland and Northern Ireland. In England and Wales, you may need a separate civil ceremony. Always check the legal requirements for your specific situation.