Sikh Wedding Guest Guide: Dress, Head Coverings and Etiquette

Dress modestly and comfortably. For all guests, cover your arms and legs. Skirts, trousers, dresses and suits are all fine. Bright colours are welcome, but avoid white and black, which are often worn at funerals. You do not need to wear traditional Indian clothes, but if you do, that is a lovely gesture.

There is no rule that the bride must wear a red lengha. Brides often choose red, but many wear other colours such as pink, maroon, gold or blue. What matters is that the outfit is modest and comfortable for sitting on the floor during the ceremony. If you are a guest, you can wear any modest outfit you like.

Everyone, men and women, must cover their head inside the gurdwara. Scarves, headscarves, chunni or patka are all fine. You will usually find a basket of head coverings near the entrance. If you bring your own, make sure it covers the top of your head.

You must remove your shoes before entering the prayer hall. There will be a shoe rack or a designated area. Socks or tights are fine to keep on. Wash your hands before entering, as a sign of respect. Many gurdwaras have a hand-washing area near the entrance.

The gurdwara is a place of worship, not just a wedding venue. Speak quietly, switch your phone to silent, and do not take photos during the ceremony unless the couple or the granthi has said it is allowed. Sit on the floor with the other guests, usually with men on one side and women on the other, but this is not always strict. Follow the lead of the people around you.

When you enter the prayer hall, you will see the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy book, on a raised platform. Bow or touch your forehead to the floor in front of it if you feel comfortable. Many non-Sikh guests do this as a mark of respect, but it is not required. The granthi, the person who reads from the Guru Granth Sahib, leads the ceremony. They do not 'marry' the couple in the legal sense; they guide the religious part. The couple marries each other through the ceremony.

The Anand Karaj, which means 'ceremony of bliss', is the Sikh wedding ceremony. It takes place in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib. The couple sits in front of the Guru, and the granthi leads the prayers. The ceremony includes the ardas, a formal prayer, which is said at the beginning and end. The couple and their families stand for the ardas, with hands folded.

The heart of the ceremony is the four laavan, or four rounds. The couple walks around the Guru Granth Sahib four times, clockwise, while hymns are sung. Each laav represents a stage of married life: duty and devotion, love and understanding, togetherness, and union with the divine. The groom usually leads the first round, and the bride leads the second, but the couple holds a cloth, called the palla, during the rounds. The palla is a scarf or end of the groom's turban or sash, and the bride holds it. It symbolises the bond they are creating.

The Anand Karaj itself usually lasts about 30 to 45 minutes, but the whole gurdwara visit, including the langar, can take two to three hours. Plan to arrive early and stay for the whole ceremony if you can.

In the UK, an Anand Karaj is legally recognised as a marriage if it takes place in a gurdwara that is registered for marriages and if the couple has given notice to the registrar. The couple will sign the marriage schedule or document on the day, with two witnesses. In England and Wales, a religious ceremony on its own is only legal if it happens in a registered building with an authorised person present. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, the rules are slightly different, so couples should check with their local registrar. If you are a non-Sikh marrying a Sikh, the gurdwara may have its own requirements, such as attending classes or agreeing to raise children in the Sikh faith. Ask the gurdwara directly.

After the ceremony, everyone is invited to the langar, a free vegetarian meal served in the gurdwara's dining hall. It is a key part of Sikh hospitality and equality. Everyone sits on the floor in rows, and food is served to all, regardless of faith, background or status. You are not required to attend, but it is a wonderful experience and a chance to celebrate with the couple.

Sit down, wait to be served, and eat with your right hand if you are using your hands. You may be given a plate and cutlery. Do not waste food. When you finish, take your plate to the designated washing-up area. The langar is always vegetarian, so there is no meat, fish or eggs. It is a meal for everyone, so enjoy it.